I'm referring specifically to Jung/Meyers/Briggs type indicator tests. I won't go into much detail about each individual type because honestly, you need a degree to understand these things completely. Do your own research if you're interested.
For the average person, here's a basic breakdown -
- I = Introvert E = Extrovert
- N= Intuitive S = Sensing
- T = Thinking F = Feeling
- J = Judging P = Perceiving
Yours truly is a hardcore INFJ/P. I have always viewed myself as completely different from the rest of society around me, but could never put my finger on the reason why. Now I know, after studying these indicators, that I fall into a category that represents less than 1% of our population. The INFJ is the rarest of personality types for men. Second rarest for women. Therefore I can safely say, I am completely different than the majority of society.
Some of the ways we (INFJ's) are different -
We can walk into a room of people, scan the crowd, and immediately know who's angry, who's scared, and who's a complete idiot. We take in everything. EVERYTHING. It's super annoying.
I walk into a crowded room and I not only notice the couple in the back corner who are arguing, but I literally feel their tension. I internalize it, and it saddens me. The smells and sounds work together to shape my mood, and it's uncontrollable. Like Superman's hearing, I key in to every conversation. I can't tune them out and only listen to one. If you aren't an INFJ, you have no idea how mentally draining this is. Depending on what's said and how it's said, my attitude/mood will often switch to mirror one of the people I'm listening to. Often my mood and attitude will repeatedly switch between several. Did I mention that the color of paint on the walls, the decorating, the clutter, the lighting, the crooked picture, the car alarm outside, the dog barking, and the hum of the refrigerator, all effect me continuously? That's just scratching the surface of what an INFJ experiences in a crowded environment.
Something else unique to my personality type is the ability to intuitively discern what you're thinking without you saying very much. We key in on facial expressions, body language, nervousness, out of place emotions, what you say, and most importantly what you don't say. Not only do we understand what's going on with you, we literally "feel" your emotions. This too can be mentally and emotionally draining.
Let's talk about energy. You can either be the kind of person that gives or takes energy from me. In order to give energy to an INFJ you absolutely must go deeper than surface level conversation. We seem socially awkward while trying to make small talk at parties. In fact, small talk robs energy from us. We only have a certain amount to give and if 7 people before you have stolen energy from me, then you will likely get the cold shoulder. Don't take it personally. I actually really value you and want to have a meaningful conversation. I am simply unable to fake it.
In each of these paragraphs above I have been talking about how draining it is to be this kind of introvert. What I want you to understand is that introverts are joyful, empathetic, intelligent, and interesting people who value real relationships. We are the best listeners as long as you've paid into our emotional bank. We have so much we would love to talk to you about. We just need you to initiate the conversation.
One final thing you may have noticed; we seem cold and grumpy most of the time. You've noticed this whenever you see us at social gatherings. Reference my paragraph above about the ways we are different and then please understand that we are not cold and grumpy, we are simply taking in every conceivable detail about our environment and simultaneously attempting to carry on a draining, surface level, conversation with you. lol ok maybe we are cold at times.
You can research more about the personality types by following the link below if you're interested.
Enjoy.
--ME
